I like him
like having a good hair day...like him
like having a bad hair day and still gettin compliments...like him
the mailbox is full and none of it bills...like him
like finding the perfect pair of shoes and a handbag on sale...like him
like wanting him to not be there
cuz the forehead kiss warms my cheeks
scent all in my pillows
tickles me & sometimes feels
just like him...like him
like running in circles
counting backwards
replaying the morning sunrise
he rises
breathes me
my love
roller coasting
down his back
to his toes
re-routes to his fingers
cuz they wanna be loved
found passion
traveling through my locs
deep, Sahara desert
tribal dancing
across my scalp...like him
like the diet I don't need to be on
cuz the 10 pounds I could probably lose
fills my dresses
hips sway from work to the kitchen
to jeans chillen
watchin the game
lettin him hold the remote
cuz he'll ask me to hand him something
just to see all of me move
he says I'm beautiful...like him
like knowing we both get hot when we sleep
so opposite sides work for us...like him
like mathematical problems
cuz I'm already 2
add him
and we could make 4...like him
like flaws & all
we know each other's buttons
I won't touch his
& he don't touch mine...like him
cuz see
we don't mind
the no good days
the alarm freaklishly didn't go off
spilled breakfast on the table
left lunch at home
realized half way to work days
childlike knowin
do it or say it
love it or leave it
tryin to get the best of each moment
we take it
make it
ours
stamp of soul approval
rock it during every season
cuz IT just don't go out of style
like resurrection
cool breezes
360 degrees
Spinners hummin
Just as long as we have love
touchin hearts
unconditional
every aspect fulfilled
goin back in time
confessin
answerin the Shirelles
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Yes
singing Lenny Williams
"Girl you know I...I...I...I love you
No matter what you do"
putting the moonlight on my finger
eases me to sleep...like him
like im strong enough to be without him
and he digs that...like him
like he knows he's gotta work for his place
& once he's there, i won't doubt him
cuz it takes some serious work to get there...like him
like ive experienced a lot of first with him
& im woman enuf to admit it
& he's man enuf to hold it
cuz we gon only be real with each other...like him
I like him
like newly formed rainbows
that perfect pair of jeans
sleeping in on the weekend
like 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
that song that comes on every time im sad
& it picks me up cuz it, like him, has perfect timing
I simply like him
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Snow Days
Trapped in the house
Forced to face it
to clean it
to organize it
to make calls
to remove numbers
send emails
finish projects
embrace the silence
loving your own company
learning more about your family
missing your friends
it started as a much
needed break
but now
in the 9th hour
the time changes
the mirror turns
the reflection is you
Snow
God's way of making you
be exactly who you're suppose to be
when no one else is around
Forced to face it
to clean it
to organize it
to make calls
to remove numbers
send emails
finish projects
embrace the silence
loving your own company
learning more about your family
missing your friends
it started as a much
needed break
but now
in the 9th hour
the time changes
the mirror turns
the reflection is you
Snow
God's way of making you
be exactly who you're suppose to be
when no one else is around
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Black History...Revisited
I haven't given a speech in a very long time, so when I was asked to write one for Black History Month...I immediately thought...YES!! Of course I loved it; it was mine!! My heart, my thoughts, my perspective written in a way to reach...twelve and thirteen year olds. My sister heard it first and said I took her to "church", then my coworkers and students were right there with the same comments.
As the months passed, students told me in so many different ways that they enjoyed my speech, that it made them think, that it made them feel, and some simply said wow. I was happy with it all!! I am still reminded of how it made the students feel and think afterwards. THEY held it close enough to their hearts, that they still think about it. So maybe I didn't reach them all. Maybe, I just reached a select few. The thing that truly makes me smile, is the fact that it's May, and the words I spoke are still remembered. That tells me they didn't just retain it, those words moved them. So I figured I'd share it....
Walter Gagehot said, “A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” These could not be truer words to say during Black History Month. When Marian Anderson, a great opera singer, was denied permission to sing at Washington, D.C’s Constitution Hall, she did not let go of her dream. Instead she continued to press on. By 1955, she became the first African American to appear with the Metropolitan Opera Company in New York. Imagine the reaction of those who said she could not accomplish such a task. Madame C.J. Walker saw a need for beauty products for African-American woman, invented them, and became a self-made millionaire. She had a dream. Even though Louis “Satchmo” Armstrong’s mother was a domestic worker and a prostitute and his father a turpentine worker, he became one of the greatest jazz musicians alive. He had a dream.
When African-American women and men felt a need to commit to not only themselves but also their community they organized Alpha Phi Alpha in 1906, Alpha Kappa Alpha in 1908, Kappa Alpha Psi and Omega Psi Phi in 1911, Delta Sigma Theta in 1913, Phi Beta Sigma in 1914, Zeta Phi Beta in 1920, Sigma Gamma Rho in 1922, and Iota Phi Theta in 1963. They all had a dream. How did they accomplish such feats? Why did they stay on a course to create, to instill, to embody, and uplift themselves and their culture?
Hope. Hope kept them strong. The American Heritage Dictionary defines hope as a wish with expectation of its fulfillment, to look forward to something with confidence. Yes, it was hope that kept these African Americans and many like them on a course to stop segregation, to gain fair treatment, and to simply be able to not only take part but also be a part of a society that shunned and condemned them to minimal ideals of the American Dream. So ask yourself, what do you hope for? What is it that you want out of life? What do you plan to accomplish? Because I will tell you now that you can be and do anything you put your mind too. It doesn’t matter who you mother was, what you father did, where you live…all that matters is that you promise yourself to be better, stronger, and wiser with each moment that you are able to live.
Forget what you have, because when you leave this world, you cannot take it with you. It doesn’t matter who you know because at some point you, YES YOU, will have to go and get it on your own. Your parents aren’t getting this education, you are. Your friends aren’t going to work on your future job, you are. Regardless of the number of referrals that have been written on you, the grades you had first semester, the homework you didn’t turn in yesterday, you have the opportunity with each new day to surpass the restrictions you put on yourself the day before. You hear it often that the choice is yours, so what choices are you going to make. If you don’t like your friends, change them, if you don’t like your grades study harder to do better, if you don’t like that people think you are something other than who you really are, wake up everyday AND PROVE THEM WRONG.
Hope is a very necessary thing. But it is only half of the equation. Where you have hope to keep you going, faith keeps you strong. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. The individuals I spoke of did not see the end result of their greatness, but they never lost faith. When slaves left with Harriet Tubman, they did not lose their faith. When Sojourner Truth spoke to the masses about being a women, she did not lose her faith. When Emmitt Tills’ mother lost her son to the brutality of a segregated south, she did not lose her faith. So again, I tell you to not lose your faith as you continue on your journey. Learn all you can. Be all you can. Embody all you can. Show all you can to disprove anything placed on you. I DID.
I grew up hearing everything I wouldn’t be and couldn’t do. And even when I had my son at the age of 20, I finished my undergraduate degree in 3 years and went on to obtain my Master’s degree with my son in my lap and while holding down a job. I had obstacles to sort through and figure out. But I kept my head up, I held on to hope and kept faith through every trial, through every storm. And now, now, I can take everything I’ve been through and tell others that yes it is possible. It is possible to be strong, intelligent, independent a single mother and still accomplish goals.
Young brothers and sisters of various backgrounds know that there is strength in your struggle and power in your pain. You will outlive your current situation, if you want to do just that because it does not define you. It will break you if you let it, but it doesn’t have to.
Every person you meet will have a story. When they speak, pay attention to the stories they tell you. Take those lessons of wisdom and turn them into your necklace of understanding. Wear it proudly because maybe, just maybe you won’t make the same mistake. And if by some chance you do, take that lesson, learn from it, grow from it, and press on because the road will be rough because you will have your own valleys to climb out of and your own mountains to climb over.
I ask you to not tread on the clear path mapped out for you, but if necessary branch off and create your own journey to greatness.
Today I charge you to be like those African Americans who saw no door, knocked down a wall, and built their own. Today I charge you to be better than what history has said you will be. Today I charge you to take your place and be role models and love yourself enough to reach for the impossible and to not be upset if you don’t get there the first time. Donnie Simpson said, “Shoot for the moon, for even if you miss you’ll be among the stars.” So find your goal, aim for it, and keep aiming for it until you’re there. Today I charge you to keep hope and faith with you always, to be excited about its fulfillment and to always, always believe that it can and will happen.
As the months passed, students told me in so many different ways that they enjoyed my speech, that it made them think, that it made them feel, and some simply said wow. I was happy with it all!! I am still reminded of how it made the students feel and think afterwards. THEY held it close enough to their hearts, that they still think about it. So maybe I didn't reach them all. Maybe, I just reached a select few. The thing that truly makes me smile, is the fact that it's May, and the words I spoke are still remembered. That tells me they didn't just retain it, those words moved them. So I figured I'd share it....
Walter Gagehot said, “A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” These could not be truer words to say during Black History Month. When Marian Anderson, a great opera singer, was denied permission to sing at Washington, D.C’s Constitution Hall, she did not let go of her dream. Instead she continued to press on. By 1955, she became the first African American to appear with the Metropolitan Opera Company in New York. Imagine the reaction of those who said she could not accomplish such a task. Madame C.J. Walker saw a need for beauty products for African-American woman, invented them, and became a self-made millionaire. She had a dream. Even though Louis “Satchmo” Armstrong’s mother was a domestic worker and a prostitute and his father a turpentine worker, he became one of the greatest jazz musicians alive. He had a dream.
When African-American women and men felt a need to commit to not only themselves but also their community they organized Alpha Phi Alpha in 1906, Alpha Kappa Alpha in 1908, Kappa Alpha Psi and Omega Psi Phi in 1911, Delta Sigma Theta in 1913, Phi Beta Sigma in 1914, Zeta Phi Beta in 1920, Sigma Gamma Rho in 1922, and Iota Phi Theta in 1963. They all had a dream. How did they accomplish such feats? Why did they stay on a course to create, to instill, to embody, and uplift themselves and their culture?
Hope. Hope kept them strong. The American Heritage Dictionary defines hope as a wish with expectation of its fulfillment, to look forward to something with confidence. Yes, it was hope that kept these African Americans and many like them on a course to stop segregation, to gain fair treatment, and to simply be able to not only take part but also be a part of a society that shunned and condemned them to minimal ideals of the American Dream. So ask yourself, what do you hope for? What is it that you want out of life? What do you plan to accomplish? Because I will tell you now that you can be and do anything you put your mind too. It doesn’t matter who you mother was, what you father did, where you live…all that matters is that you promise yourself to be better, stronger, and wiser with each moment that you are able to live.
Forget what you have, because when you leave this world, you cannot take it with you. It doesn’t matter who you know because at some point you, YES YOU, will have to go and get it on your own. Your parents aren’t getting this education, you are. Your friends aren’t going to work on your future job, you are. Regardless of the number of referrals that have been written on you, the grades you had first semester, the homework you didn’t turn in yesterday, you have the opportunity with each new day to surpass the restrictions you put on yourself the day before. You hear it often that the choice is yours, so what choices are you going to make. If you don’t like your friends, change them, if you don’t like your grades study harder to do better, if you don’t like that people think you are something other than who you really are, wake up everyday AND PROVE THEM WRONG.
Hope is a very necessary thing. But it is only half of the equation. Where you have hope to keep you going, faith keeps you strong. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. The individuals I spoke of did not see the end result of their greatness, but they never lost faith. When slaves left with Harriet Tubman, they did not lose their faith. When Sojourner Truth spoke to the masses about being a women, she did not lose her faith. When Emmitt Tills’ mother lost her son to the brutality of a segregated south, she did not lose her faith. So again, I tell you to not lose your faith as you continue on your journey. Learn all you can. Be all you can. Embody all you can. Show all you can to disprove anything placed on you. I DID.
I grew up hearing everything I wouldn’t be and couldn’t do. And even when I had my son at the age of 20, I finished my undergraduate degree in 3 years and went on to obtain my Master’s degree with my son in my lap and while holding down a job. I had obstacles to sort through and figure out. But I kept my head up, I held on to hope and kept faith through every trial, through every storm. And now, now, I can take everything I’ve been through and tell others that yes it is possible. It is possible to be strong, intelligent, independent a single mother and still accomplish goals.
Young brothers and sisters of various backgrounds know that there is strength in your struggle and power in your pain. You will outlive your current situation, if you want to do just that because it does not define you. It will break you if you let it, but it doesn’t have to.
Every person you meet will have a story. When they speak, pay attention to the stories they tell you. Take those lessons of wisdom and turn them into your necklace of understanding. Wear it proudly because maybe, just maybe you won’t make the same mistake. And if by some chance you do, take that lesson, learn from it, grow from it, and press on because the road will be rough because you will have your own valleys to climb out of and your own mountains to climb over.
I ask you to not tread on the clear path mapped out for you, but if necessary branch off and create your own journey to greatness.
Today I charge you to be like those African Americans who saw no door, knocked down a wall, and built their own. Today I charge you to be better than what history has said you will be. Today I charge you to take your place and be role models and love yourself enough to reach for the impossible and to not be upset if you don’t get there the first time. Donnie Simpson said, “Shoot for the moon, for even if you miss you’ll be among the stars.” So find your goal, aim for it, and keep aiming for it until you’re there. Today I charge you to keep hope and faith with you always, to be excited about its fulfillment and to always, always believe that it can and will happen.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Go, Tell Michelle
I have become a part history. Along with 99 of the most talented, intelligent, and ariticulate African American woman, we have become embedded in the thread of telling the world our inner most secrets in the most passionate way. Thanks to the creative minds of Barbara Nevergold and Peggy Brooks-Bertram, we have come together to tell Michelle Obama our dreams, hopes, and prayers for her an in her family as they journey to the White House. This is an absolute blessing. It is the road less traveled, trampled by the many letters and poems with a voice and a purpose.
Just as we were ask to Go, Tell Michelle, I ask that you Go, Tell all you know about this project.
www.sunypress.edu
Share it, Love it...
Just as we were ask to Go, Tell Michelle, I ask that you Go, Tell all you know about this project.
www.sunypress.edu
Share it, Love it...
Friday, July 18, 2008
Possessing the Secret of Joy
I recently read Alice Walker's Possessing the Secret of Joy and I have to say that it is a definite must read. It is a wonderfully woven novel of the sadness, the fight, the confusion, the giving up, the giving in etc that women often do for family, for society. Its focus is on the effects of female circumcision and how to educate the world. It is about sorting through your past to live in your today. It about being married about being single. About being. It made me think of my own secret of joy. It made think of how we're viewed. How we lose ourselves in our children, in our husbands or the fact that some women simply don't want either. It made me think about dreams never reached because they didn't fit the mold. What is this secret,? This inner drive to be more or less, to work hard or call in, to just simply be who you are all day every day is something we all have, but may not have found (yet). This poem is for Women...every shape, every size, and in every walk of her life.
WOMEN
This poem is for you
it is for the woman who stripped out of her suit
into dirty jeans and an over sized t-shirt
to re-tile the floor because she asked
one too many times
it is for the woman who lost herself
in cereal necklaces, Play-doh
Spongebob and practices
but secretly sips martinis before she clocks in
it is for the woman who chose her career
and loves the fact that she can take
lavish vacations...biological clock on snooze
it is for the woman who wants to stay at home
learning every nook and cranny of her house
her children her husband and reading articles
about the women mentioned above
it is for the woman who didn't graduate
from high school but dares one her children
to not make it
it is for the woman who is barren and adopts
even though the husband says he will leave
for the woman who committed herself
just to get a break
it is for the woman who loves women secretly
but will marry that man her mama chose
for the woman who doesn't care buys a passport
to a place where she and her can unite
This is for the grandmother raising children
because her own was a free spirit dying to catch
something else, so she let her go
six years and she still hasn't heard from her.
it is for the woman raising a child all by herself
because for this reason or the other
daddy just didn't cut it
it is for the woman who carries a child for another
she doesn't mind sharing her blessing
for the woman who receives the child
neither has a dry eye
This is for women who are still learning
for those who know the roads they will
never walk again
for women who support, who are deathly honest
who know when to listen intently
who are totally comfortable in the skin their in
and those who want to make a few adjustments
Woman
It is in your walk, the way words linger on your
tongue hoping to be said again because you're just
that bad
it is in your ability to hold it all together
to let it all fall to prove a point
sneak away gently into the night
dive into yourself and re-learn your way out
You have been mutilated in every sense
yet are on a steady journey to empowerment
Yes, you, Woman, in the middle of this madness
are celebrated.
WOMEN
This poem is for you
it is for the woman who stripped out of her suit
into dirty jeans and an over sized t-shirt
to re-tile the floor because she asked
one too many times
it is for the woman who lost herself
in cereal necklaces, Play-doh
Spongebob and practices
but secretly sips martinis before she clocks in
it is for the woman who chose her career
and loves the fact that she can take
lavish vacations...biological clock on snooze
it is for the woman who wants to stay at home
learning every nook and cranny of her house
her children her husband and reading articles
about the women mentioned above
it is for the woman who didn't graduate
from high school but dares one her children
to not make it
it is for the woman who is barren and adopts
even though the husband says he will leave
for the woman who committed herself
just to get a break
it is for the woman who loves women secretly
but will marry that man her mama chose
for the woman who doesn't care buys a passport
to a place where she and her can unite
This is for the grandmother raising children
because her own was a free spirit dying to catch
something else, so she let her go
six years and she still hasn't heard from her.
it is for the woman raising a child all by herself
because for this reason or the other
daddy just didn't cut it
it is for the woman who carries a child for another
she doesn't mind sharing her blessing
for the woman who receives the child
neither has a dry eye
This is for women who are still learning
for those who know the roads they will
never walk again
for women who support, who are deathly honest
who know when to listen intently
who are totally comfortable in the skin their in
and those who want to make a few adjustments
Woman
It is in your walk, the way words linger on your
tongue hoping to be said again because you're just
that bad
it is in your ability to hold it all together
to let it all fall to prove a point
sneak away gently into the night
dive into yourself and re-learn your way out
You have been mutilated in every sense
yet are on a steady journey to empowerment
Yes, you, Woman, in the middle of this madness
are celebrated.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
A Whore's Shoes
Wow, it's been a minute since I've posted a blog, but I've been working hard. My debut cd is about to drop and of course we have to remember my book. So I thank you for even reading this blog to begin with because it truly means a lot. So what's next of me? Bigger and better things is all I can say. I've spent some time really thinking about careers, on any level. Why do we grind so hard? Especially, for those of us who have double lives, by day we are teachers, accountants, nurses...and by night we are singers, poets, artists. The only way I've known to deal with an issue is to write about it. So read it, share it, leave a comment, and spread the word. Even though I've been under the radar; I'm always writing. Prophetess never quits.
A Whore’s Shoes
She was searching
Working hard to create
Never realizing she
Was using her pussy
To define her
And the only thing she birthed
Was indifference
Late night stalker
Exchanging blow jobs
In dark halls
Ditching grad school
For night calls
Changing her wigs a second job
And this to simply please her john
Anyway you want it daddy
And she learned this from home experience
She grew up hoping she could
Change the world
A good girl
Hoping to one day carry a briefcase
Wear a navy pinstriped suit
Walk in late
The head of the meeting
And say call home it’s going
To be a late night
Instead she files skirts
Stacks condoms instead of post-its
Leave paperclips behind because
Fishnets come in every color
Keeps the clinic alphabetically behind mama
Cuz every now and then she calls her for advice
Her nights are her days
And she walks the block
Until dawn crepts in to tell her
To count your cash and run
Run back to the moment where it all made sense
And the only thing you had to do was make sure
Your socks matched in the morning
Run back to the moment
When cotton candy was what you ate
And not the name given to you by strangers
Or that moment when he told you
You were too pretty to be in school
I know another way you can make money
To that moment when your mama sang
What a friend we have in Jesus
Coming down the stairs
Sleep in your eyes
You mistook it for Jesus
And he was the first man to pimp you
A whore’s shoes are hard to fill
Cuz she’ll do 16 hours in
Thigh chain strapped 5inch
Patent leather high heels
& not once will she complain
Sleet, snow, or hail
She’ll stand in spot
Waiting for one cock
To get her rent money
And we laugh at her
Talk badly about her
Spit on the place she walks
Because it ain’t that hard
To get real job
We act like she
Wants it
Like a pothole
She fell in and not sure
She got all of herself out
Some her was still there broken
And battered
Desire was too the left
But ambition was in easy reach
Rules said get the American dream
So she did the American dream
To get a taste of his life
Yet we complain
Waking to alarm clocks
Or the babies’ cries
The cat knocking shit over in the kitchen
And the dog who we wished would walk itself
One damn time
We work that 9-5
Wearing a 3 piece suit with stilettos
Wear sneakers to the train rub our feet
Cuz we got blisters
And damn girl, she got them too
But we don’t hoe ourselves
When every career fair is
A pimp maker
Cuz CEO’s don’t do the job
You do the job and they get the credit
And we don’t hoe ourselves
Yet we do overtime for a little bit of change
To buy something a little bit better
Than what we had yesterday
And we don’t hoe ourselves
Cuz if we don’t work we don’t get paid
And like her we get laid-off
Cuz that trick won’t always be new
And your performance at 35 won’t be the same a 62
A whore’s shoes
Ankle strapped
Or knee high
See threw bottom
Bright pink
Shiny metallic
Leather
Gold emblems
To match her attire
And we wear a scarf we don’t need
That has a hint of the color from the shoes
We want to wear that day
We look our best
To do our best
When inside we know
We should’ve left
Filed a pink slip
Said fuck it
I don’t need this shit
She cried the same tears
handed you a tissue on the train
Listened to you say
You’re worth more than this
She felt that pain
But wanted you to feel better
At the next stop
She rose
Complimented your
Ribbon lace up leopard print heels
And said she had the same pair
A whore’s shoes are being redefined.
A Whore’s Shoes
She was searching
Working hard to create
Never realizing she
Was using her pussy
To define her
And the only thing she birthed
Was indifference
Late night stalker
Exchanging blow jobs
In dark halls
Ditching grad school
For night calls
Changing her wigs a second job
And this to simply please her john
Anyway you want it daddy
And she learned this from home experience
She grew up hoping she could
Change the world
A good girl
Hoping to one day carry a briefcase
Wear a navy pinstriped suit
Walk in late
The head of the meeting
And say call home it’s going
To be a late night
Instead she files skirts
Stacks condoms instead of post-its
Leave paperclips behind because
Fishnets come in every color
Keeps the clinic alphabetically behind mama
Cuz every now and then she calls her for advice
Her nights are her days
And she walks the block
Until dawn crepts in to tell her
To count your cash and run
Run back to the moment where it all made sense
And the only thing you had to do was make sure
Your socks matched in the morning
Run back to the moment
When cotton candy was what you ate
And not the name given to you by strangers
Or that moment when he told you
You were too pretty to be in school
I know another way you can make money
To that moment when your mama sang
What a friend we have in Jesus
Coming down the stairs
Sleep in your eyes
You mistook it for Jesus
And he was the first man to pimp you
A whore’s shoes are hard to fill
Cuz she’ll do 16 hours in
Thigh chain strapped 5inch
Patent leather high heels
& not once will she complain
Sleet, snow, or hail
She’ll stand in spot
Waiting for one cock
To get her rent money
And we laugh at her
Talk badly about her
Spit on the place she walks
Because it ain’t that hard
To get real job
We act like she
Wants it
Like a pothole
She fell in and not sure
She got all of herself out
Some her was still there broken
And battered
Desire was too the left
But ambition was in easy reach
Rules said get the American dream
So she did the American dream
To get a taste of his life
Yet we complain
Waking to alarm clocks
Or the babies’ cries
The cat knocking shit over in the kitchen
And the dog who we wished would walk itself
One damn time
We work that 9-5
Wearing a 3 piece suit with stilettos
Wear sneakers to the train rub our feet
Cuz we got blisters
And damn girl, she got them too
But we don’t hoe ourselves
When every career fair is
A pimp maker
Cuz CEO’s don’t do the job
You do the job and they get the credit
And we don’t hoe ourselves
Yet we do overtime for a little bit of change
To buy something a little bit better
Than what we had yesterday
And we don’t hoe ourselves
Cuz if we don’t work we don’t get paid
And like her we get laid-off
Cuz that trick won’t always be new
And your performance at 35 won’t be the same a 62
A whore’s shoes
Ankle strapped
Or knee high
See threw bottom
Bright pink
Shiny metallic
Leather
Gold emblems
To match her attire
And we wear a scarf we don’t need
That has a hint of the color from the shoes
We want to wear that day
We look our best
To do our best
When inside we know
We should’ve left
Filed a pink slip
Said fuck it
I don’t need this shit
She cried the same tears
handed you a tissue on the train
Listened to you say
You’re worth more than this
She felt that pain
But wanted you to feel better
At the next stop
She rose
Complimented your
Ribbon lace up leopard print heels
And said she had the same pair
A whore’s shoes are being redefined.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Peace of Mind??
"they" want us to find peace b/t
sanity and shit
realizing not everyone is full of it
but politicans do no time
for crimes committed
and Genalow Wilson
did 10 years for consenual sex
and i bet
tax dollars will continue
to spend &
blood sheds daily
on a war that won't end &
Katrina victims are still called refugees &
black madams
have senators pants below knees
America has lost her mind
full coverage on Paris in jail
was she beat?
on CBS NBC on @ 8, 9, & 10 &
breakin news w/ coffee before the
morning commute &
Darfur comes on news @ 11
2 clips @ night
waking to empty
classroom discussions
was the Holocaust real?
Who is Marcus Garvey?
Sharing textbooks
color a picture of Dr. King
in Kindergarten
hear his speech in 9th
Black History Month over
He HAD a dream
"they" want us to find peace b/t
sanith and shit & we
sell our souls to pay mortgage
living in beautiful empty shells
got the house &
no place to sit
cuz all the damn money is gone
intelligent black mothers
are the number one hustlers
mulitasking
balancing checkbooks
diaper changes
football games
while daddy isn't there
or is and needs balancing too
social experiences still tell boys don't cry
making locked in tears
fist marks on his wife
he wasn't taught how to feel
little girls use "it" to gain comfort
stay by him "he'll learn"
a man will always be inscribed in their
DNA
told when it falls apart
that they must change
"they" want us to find peace b/t
sanity and shit
and single mothers are
forced to leave young children
jail or die
heartless talks of
firstborn means nothing
we have to find other ways to
continue the name
rules steady changing...
more time is spent
trying to control
who you sex
while DC residents still can't vote
sitting like children
on punishment
waiting to hear direction
for their country
daily we fall from grace
In God We Trust they want removed
Prayer's not allowed in school
wisdom a lost tool
"they" tell us were safe no fear
& we're not sure we're wanted here
black goys still don't shed tears
hide us behind lies &
we know the end is near
My soul cries out to God!
Now I lay us down to sleep
I pray the Lord our souls to keep
and if we die before we wake
Please, Lord, let us go in Peace...
sanity and shit
realizing not everyone is full of it
but politicans do no time
for crimes committed
and Genalow Wilson
did 10 years for consenual sex
and i bet
tax dollars will continue
to spend &
blood sheds daily
on a war that won't end &
Katrina victims are still called refugees &
black madams
have senators pants below knees
America has lost her mind
full coverage on Paris in jail
was she beat?
on CBS NBC on @ 8, 9, & 10 &
breakin news w/ coffee before the
morning commute &
Darfur comes on news @ 11
2 clips @ night
waking to empty
classroom discussions
was the Holocaust real?
Who is Marcus Garvey?
Sharing textbooks
color a picture of Dr. King
in Kindergarten
hear his speech in 9th
Black History Month over
He HAD a dream
"they" want us to find peace b/t
sanith and shit & we
sell our souls to pay mortgage
living in beautiful empty shells
got the house &
no place to sit
cuz all the damn money is gone
intelligent black mothers
are the number one hustlers
mulitasking
balancing checkbooks
diaper changes
football games
while daddy isn't there
or is and needs balancing too
social experiences still tell boys don't cry
making locked in tears
fist marks on his wife
he wasn't taught how to feel
little girls use "it" to gain comfort
stay by him "he'll learn"
a man will always be inscribed in their
DNA
told when it falls apart
that they must change
"they" want us to find peace b/t
sanity and shit
and single mothers are
forced to leave young children
jail or die
heartless talks of
firstborn means nothing
we have to find other ways to
continue the name
rules steady changing...
more time is spent
trying to control
who you sex
while DC residents still can't vote
sitting like children
on punishment
waiting to hear direction
for their country
daily we fall from grace
In God We Trust they want removed
Prayer's not allowed in school
wisdom a lost tool
"they" tell us were safe no fear
& we're not sure we're wanted here
black goys still don't shed tears
hide us behind lies &
we know the end is near
My soul cries out to God!
Now I lay us down to sleep
I pray the Lord our souls to keep
and if we die before we wake
Please, Lord, let us go in Peace...
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Series of Love: Broken Heart Cliche
We've all been there. Thought long and hard over what we did and came to the conclusion that the end we can pray we're smarter than what we were when it started. We sat with friends late nights saying we'd never be a cliche. We knew what was there was real, when that promise of forever was only for right now. In the end, it's another heart broken....With this poem the series ends. I hope you have enjoyed the journey.
Broken Heart Cliché
See for you
I drew rainbows
Wrote my name in crayons
Finger-painted on your body
Took naps before recess
Sat out during dodge ball
To watch you play
See for you
I wrote beautiful melodies
Promised you forever
And all of me
Shed clothes a second skin
Whenever the time
It was never ending
But now
Now I write eulogies
Burying what I thought was love
In a shoebox in the back yard
Small burial of stars and freedom
Lust filled nights in movie theaters
Love making sessions to candlelight
We did it all
See for you
I said monogamy
Threw the welcome mat away
Closed the peephole
And gave you a key
Dinners left cold on tables
Oven no longer heating
Microwave busted
Being overused night after night
Of you not coming home
See for you
I changed my address
Moved to an unknown space
Waiting for the moment
It would be our place
Instead it became
This hollowed out shell
We were forced to reside in
Hiding the fact that you loved in
Another whose name was not mine
See for you
I altered my dress
Trophy on your arm
So proud to show others what you had
When in reality, you were having everyone else
And I a fool to believe
That your looks were
What men did
I lost weight
Not because I couldn’t eat
My hair styled to perfection
Fell from the heat
Walking sideways
Running over the words
"I'll do better"
"You’re the one"
"Next time it’ll be different"
See for you
I embraced vows
Left-handed waves
Keeping in my vision
A reminder of our trust
See for you
I lost mind
Held tight to madness
Got use to it
Your excuses I accepted
And mistakes I put
In the attic
Broken record in my ear
Cd with a crack jammed
In the radio
I couldn’t get you out
I sipped slow on
Corn liquor
Burning my chest hoping
To singe that piece of my heart
Attached to you
I sat on county swings
Puffing cigars
And choked when I saw you in the smoke
Damn you were everywhere
The coffee tasted like dishwater
Honey iced tea was just a bag
I held on my tongue hoping
I could make something happen
My favorite spot had our names carved
So I burned it down
And left my heart as the tip
Broken Heart Cliché
See for you
I drew rainbows
Wrote my name in crayons
Finger-painted on your body
Took naps before recess
Sat out during dodge ball
To watch you play
See for you
I wrote beautiful melodies
Promised you forever
And all of me
Shed clothes a second skin
Whenever the time
It was never ending
But now
Now I write eulogies
Burying what I thought was love
In a shoebox in the back yard
Small burial of stars and freedom
Lust filled nights in movie theaters
Love making sessions to candlelight
We did it all
See for you
I said monogamy
Threw the welcome mat away
Closed the peephole
And gave you a key
Dinners left cold on tables
Oven no longer heating
Microwave busted
Being overused night after night
Of you not coming home
See for you
I changed my address
Moved to an unknown space
Waiting for the moment
It would be our place
Instead it became
This hollowed out shell
We were forced to reside in
Hiding the fact that you loved in
Another whose name was not mine
See for you
I altered my dress
Trophy on your arm
So proud to show others what you had
When in reality, you were having everyone else
And I a fool to believe
That your looks were
What men did
I lost weight
Not because I couldn’t eat
My hair styled to perfection
Fell from the heat
Walking sideways
Running over the words
"I'll do better"
"You’re the one"
"Next time it’ll be different"
See for you
I embraced vows
Left-handed waves
Keeping in my vision
A reminder of our trust
See for you
I lost mind
Held tight to madness
Got use to it
Your excuses I accepted
And mistakes I put
In the attic
Broken record in my ear
Cd with a crack jammed
In the radio
I couldn’t get you out
I sipped slow on
Corn liquor
Burning my chest hoping
To singe that piece of my heart
Attached to you
I sat on county swings
Puffing cigars
And choked when I saw you in the smoke
Damn you were everywhere
The coffee tasted like dishwater
Honey iced tea was just a bag
I held on my tongue hoping
I could make something happen
My favorite spot had our names carved
So I burned it down
And left my heart as the tip
Monday, September 10, 2007
Series of Love: In Love All Over Your Body
I think this poem speaks for itself.
In love all over your body
u seduce me w/out even knowin that you're doing it
dreams of late nite pillow talk
replace the reality of you bein gone
i walk with a glow
hoping my mind doesn't blow
filled w/ beautiful
cuz in my smile it shows
you have captured my being
placed it gently against your chest to be seen
nursing the time it takes to make it
willing to take it further
if we speak it
we cherish it
this newfoundland
took the plan and
made it so much better
took simplicity as gold
bold enough to put heart on paper
strong enough to take this hollowed out shell
& fill it with magic
thinking of you often
in your eyes im lost
not wanting the maze to end
secretly ive loved you
but giving myself the chance to be your
best friend
i write lyrics on you
take u to open mics
delight in the applause
you are my masterpiece
you inhale &
i breath out blessings
not stressin over what it aint
cuz what of it is
don't change
keep me halfcrazy
your hands my heartbeat
i live to be a part of your life
shock me everyday with surprises &
gentle tears fall down my eyes &
onto your face
my place is only right...by you
turning sweat from
love making into diamonds
you wear them on your ears
fears lessen
& new lessons
are strapped on my feet
walking on jazz beats
we lived in winter
the blues left in spring
summer rain cleansed us both
& fall into each other's skin
In love all over your body
u seduce me w/out even knowin that you're doing it
dreams of late nite pillow talk
replace the reality of you bein gone
i walk with a glow
hoping my mind doesn't blow
filled w/ beautiful
cuz in my smile it shows
you have captured my being
placed it gently against your chest to be seen
nursing the time it takes to make it
willing to take it further
if we speak it
we cherish it
this newfoundland
took the plan and
made it so much better
took simplicity as gold
bold enough to put heart on paper
strong enough to take this hollowed out shell
& fill it with magic
thinking of you often
in your eyes im lost
not wanting the maze to end
secretly ive loved you
but giving myself the chance to be your
best friend
i write lyrics on you
take u to open mics
delight in the applause
you are my masterpiece
you inhale &
i breath out blessings
not stressin over what it aint
cuz what of it is
don't change
keep me halfcrazy
your hands my heartbeat
i live to be a part of your life
shock me everyday with surprises &
gentle tears fall down my eyes &
onto your face
my place is only right...by you
turning sweat from
love making into diamonds
you wear them on your ears
fears lessen
& new lessons
are strapped on my feet
walking on jazz beats
we lived in winter
the blues left in spring
summer rain cleansed us both
& fall into each other's skin
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Why I Teach
For those of you who know I wrote a poem called Why I Teach. But today those words were outdone by a true story. My first year in Woodbridge I had the pleasure of meeting Jonathan. Ooh he was unique in every way! We battled. He cursed me out. There was even one time I took off my earrings, my heels, and chased him down the hall. Why? I simply asked him to sit down and was told in very colorful language what he wasn't going to do. Well, humph, I knew he bumped his head and I showed him what crazy looked like. Laughing, huh. Well, I tell you, having him not one but two years was INTERESTING. He eventually became my project child and then my adopted son. I did everything in my power to keep him together: i tutored him, made sure he showed at work, yes I took it beyond the classroom, beyond the teaching hours and made it personal. Well, you can't watch everyone all the time and that one time I didn't, he got into a fight and was expelled. I spent all this time thinking what in the world did I do wrong!? I lead him like I'd do NaShawn, but you know what they say. You can lead a horse to water...
Today Jonathan showed up. Came into my room, looked me in my eyes and told me I was his favorite teacher. Thanked me for everything I did for him and gave me a hug. He told me that he's working on his GED and thinking about enlisting in the service. I was shocked. I was almost moved to tears. This student, made it his mission to find me and tell this after TWO years. This child had it together. The eye contact alone, was amazing. (For those of you with military background or who know of those in service) Yes, he stood at attention and even said "Thank you for not giving up on me". I was humbled.
In that moment it was confirmed that I was going to continue to lead them there. Take them by the hand and let them know they are bigger, better, and smarter than what is before them. They may not drink when its time, but when they do its that much better because they are doing it out of intrinsic motivation and not for anyone else.
It's hard work to teach heart, but it can be taught.
Today Jonathan showed up. Came into my room, looked me in my eyes and told me I was his favorite teacher. Thanked me for everything I did for him and gave me a hug. He told me that he's working on his GED and thinking about enlisting in the service. I was shocked. I was almost moved to tears. This student, made it his mission to find me and tell this after TWO years. This child had it together. The eye contact alone, was amazing. (For those of you with military background or who know of those in service) Yes, he stood at attention and even said "Thank you for not giving up on me". I was humbled.
In that moment it was confirmed that I was going to continue to lead them there. Take them by the hand and let them know they are bigger, better, and smarter than what is before them. They may not drink when its time, but when they do its that much better because they are doing it out of intrinsic motivation and not for anyone else.
It's hard work to teach heart, but it can be taught.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Series of Love: It Wasn't Exactly Love
Wow. I'm at it again. So what do you do when you're not really "into" someone but out of usefulness of the person you deal? I believe there are some out there in this position where 16 words doesn't fit the picture. When the passion leaves or was never there and the rest of time is spent coping. What do you say to those people who want to run and do it constantly into a wall? How hard do you hold onto someone when even with a loose grip, they wouldn't go anyway? Did love leave or was it just a need to have someone rather than no one at all?
It Wasn't Exactly Love
...when I called and said you got me
we tapped around expressing ourselves
slowly measuring with broken rulers
if this could be
i could deal with you
pretend the dinners meant something
while my stomach turned at the thought
of you touching me later
we jumped the broom & used it
to clean up too many
nights of sleeping apart
forgetful to what it truly takes to
make it work
we got use to each other
we talked when arguing
put make up sex
on the mantle
that energy passed through us
& we thought it was love
i didn't say for better
because there was never going to be
we shared a space
fooled the world
& had our own personal hell
was this all to offer
we had nothing left
filled our lives with schedules &
to do lists
everything needed to be planned
sex on Wed worked for us
more time was spent making up
the we lost each other
we were just too different
short answers needed but only
mulitple choice existed
2 answers didn't apply &
left us with A or B
we just quit and never answered the question
irreconcilable differences
there wasn't a union
we just had no place else to go
(to be continued)
It Wasn't Exactly Love
...when I called and said you got me
we tapped around expressing ourselves
slowly measuring with broken rulers
if this could be
i could deal with you
pretend the dinners meant something
while my stomach turned at the thought
of you touching me later
we jumped the broom & used it
to clean up too many
nights of sleeping apart
forgetful to what it truly takes to
make it work
we got use to each other
we talked when arguing
put make up sex
on the mantle
that energy passed through us
& we thought it was love
i didn't say for better
because there was never going to be
we shared a space
fooled the world
& had our own personal hell
was this all to offer
we had nothing left
filled our lives with schedules &
to do lists
everything needed to be planned
sex on Wed worked for us
more time was spent making up
the we lost each other
we were just too different
short answers needed but only
mulitple choice existed
2 answers didn't apply &
left us with A or B
we just quit and never answered the question
irreconcilable differences
there wasn't a union
we just had no place else to go
(to be continued)
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Series of Love: Taste of Love
We fall in love, call our best friends, and the first thing they want to know is what does it feel like? Why does love always have to feel like something? If I was in love, I'd want to smell it, hear it, see it, and taste it. Let it be the aroma that wakes me to work hard. Let it be that favorite rhyme I hum without thinking, it just comes. Let it be a beautiful painting, a golden sunset, a star filled sky, a half moon. Let it be every part of the senses used to make love work.
What would yours taste like?
I think mine would be like this....
Taste of Love
my love passed me a jar
placed the edge on my lip & i drank
it went down
smooth w/ edges
bits of shaved sweet roasting almonds
hot w/a sour aftertaste like day old soup or cough drops
sweet w/hints of peppermint
that freshness i held under my tongue
a spicy sunburst of tangerine
syrupy thick molasses blanket
it was warm
vanilla flavored coffee
a serving of sweet potato pudding
savory buttered cornbread
homemade apple pie
& extra sweet ice tea
a drop fell on my lips & my love hungrily kissed me
we don't waste
(to be continued)
What would yours taste like?
I think mine would be like this....
Taste of Love
my love passed me a jar
placed the edge on my lip & i drank
it went down
smooth w/ edges
bits of shaved sweet roasting almonds
hot w/a sour aftertaste like day old soup or cough drops
sweet w/hints of peppermint
that freshness i held under my tongue
a spicy sunburst of tangerine
syrupy thick molasses blanket
it was warm
vanilla flavored coffee
a serving of sweet potato pudding
savory buttered cornbread
homemade apple pie
& extra sweet ice tea
a drop fell on my lips & my love hungrily kissed me
we don't waste
(to be continued)
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Series of Love: 16 Words for Love
Someone out there loves so much that its hard to put it into existence. Nothing seems as high as the feeling knowing this is the one, this is my second heartbeat. For those whose breathing match miles apart, whose eyes gaze at nothing seeing their lover, whose mind is only filled with ways to give of themselves; this poem is for you.
If at any moment I failed to capture that moment of being divinely blessed, I apologize. For what I write, I seek.
16 words
There are 16 words for love
to capture the moment of being
more than friends
combining ways to end madness & confusion
crossing the lines
to blend names
no longer being the same lonely
picture but a portrait of what is to come
Compromise- not holding your tongue
to make peace taking it piece by piece
recreating a stable environment
Waiting- for what is meant to come
naturally letting
hands find the womb birthing newness
Understanding- that boundless boxes
surround you
16 ways to seduce
16 ways to purge
yourself new baptized
into each other
16 ways to say I Love You
in the morning
16 ways to say goodnight
16 ways to remix the moves
keeping the walls in shock
to what 2 bodies do next
That space your time
do it again
play it year round
make it a holiday
say loudly " baby it's time"
16 ways to speak revolution of love
lettin words tap dance on ear drums
that beat keep scared walk
around w/ heart sounds in your head,
16 ways to show the honeymoon is
not over
16 words.....
16 words to respect, honor, trust, obey,
be faithful, show character, encourage,
motivate, entice, tease, sweat, taste,
breathe, capture, desire, & build
Love.
To be continued...
If at any moment I failed to capture that moment of being divinely blessed, I apologize. For what I write, I seek.
16 words
There are 16 words for love
to capture the moment of being
more than friends
combining ways to end madness & confusion
crossing the lines
to blend names
no longer being the same lonely
picture but a portrait of what is to come
Compromise- not holding your tongue
to make peace taking it piece by piece
recreating a stable environment
Waiting- for what is meant to come
naturally letting
hands find the womb birthing newness
Understanding- that boundless boxes
surround you
16 ways to seduce
16 ways to purge
yourself new baptized
into each other
16 ways to say I Love You
in the morning
16 ways to say goodnight
16 ways to remix the moves
keeping the walls in shock
to what 2 bodies do next
That space your time
do it again
play it year round
make it a holiday
say loudly " baby it's time"
16 ways to speak revolution of love
lettin words tap dance on ear drums
that beat keep scared walk
around w/ heart sounds in your head,
16 ways to show the honeymoon is
not over
16 words.....
16 words to respect, honor, trust, obey,
be faithful, show character, encourage,
motivate, entice, tease, sweat, taste,
breathe, capture, desire, & build
Love.
To be continued...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Series of Love: If I Loved You
We have all had the chance to live, love, and lose. Some we wished we loved a little harder (maybe they would've stayed), a little less (to not look needy), and some not all (these are the ones we blame for the 15 pounds gained or lost). Either way we've all had hot and steamy or cold and dry sessions of love. From each experience we hoped that we learned something, anything that would keep us from making or keep us making the same decision over again.
Well, I'm going to attempt to tap into those sessions. April 14, 2007--I was lucky enough to look at a card full of writing prompts for love. Those prompts are turning into beautiful poems that take us back to uncontrollable leg shaking, needing rehab cuz we're in so deep, or maybe just a reason to admit, "Hell, we ain't together for a good a$$ reason!"
The first poem I wrote at the workshop. Welcome to the series...Enjoy!!
If I Loved You
than heartache would've stayed
outside cold and wet
singing the blues that i hear now
if i loved you
than setting fire to the place
where you slept
would've been a bad dream
instead of the reality
that has me handcuffed to
a dead thought
if i loved you
i wouldn't be so eager
to remove the very essence
of you from my personal space
YES, the window had to go--
you touched it once
you told me empty words
of faith-fully going to
every warm kiss
straying from home
and still i didn't care
now don't you think if i loved you--
please, i don't know why
i'm writing this...
i still don't
(To be continued.....)
Well, I'm going to attempt to tap into those sessions. April 14, 2007--I was lucky enough to look at a card full of writing prompts for love. Those prompts are turning into beautiful poems that take us back to uncontrollable leg shaking, needing rehab cuz we're in so deep, or maybe just a reason to admit, "Hell, we ain't together for a good a$$ reason!"
The first poem I wrote at the workshop. Welcome to the series...Enjoy!!
If I Loved You
than heartache would've stayed
outside cold and wet
singing the blues that i hear now
if i loved you
than setting fire to the place
where you slept
would've been a bad dream
instead of the reality
that has me handcuffed to
a dead thought
if i loved you
i wouldn't be so eager
to remove the very essence
of you from my personal space
YES, the window had to go--
you touched it once
you told me empty words
of faith-fully going to
every warm kiss
straying from home
and still i didn't care
now don't you think if i loved you--
please, i don't know why
i'm writing this...
i still don't
(To be continued.....)
Monday, July 23, 2007
Family Reunion
(the following is poem from my upcoming book "Conversations at my Sister's Dinner Table")
Lost Somewhere
We had the best fights any
Two country girls could ever have
Throwing collard greens and cornbread
Wrestling in the front lawn
Yeah I lied but it was funny
To watch you get in trouble
We smiled after
Thinking about the times we sold mud pies
Climb trees in church dresses
Had to watch TV on our belly for a few days
We laughed hard
When my period came during P.E.
And I told you I was dying
How you managed to fall up stairs
And how that damn cat always sat on top of Tee’s truck
We were pissed together
When my date was an hour late
Drove with the window down
And messed up my hair
When Lillian was on another trip
When we realized nobody gave a shit but us
We went to college
Forgot our tears
Forgot our laughter
Forgot our pain
And grew apart
But now that we’re talking again
Those times really aren’t important
I recently went to a Family Reunion. For years my family could be counted on one hand (okay my niece came so now I use two).
Six. That was the number I could always count on to be there whether I was laughing, crying, or in the words of my sister never acting my age. I mean really if you stop laughing life is just...dull. I was the child in class who could never do a family tree because I had no idea who I came from.
Seventeen. The number of years I was kept from so many pieces of myself. The years of never hearing stories of my grandmother or knowing that my great grandfather had fourteen children!! Years of wondering, is there anyone out there who loves us, remembers us, remembers mama.
Eight. The number of reunions we happen to miss because of some woman who decided that itobviously wasn't important. Nothing she did or does really surprises me. She is just evil or I could branch out and use my expanded vocabulary and say uniquely special.
Two. The number of times I cried when I was there. Happy for the simply fact that I looked over a sea of beautiful black faces in the middle of a banquet and said HI EVERYBODY!! They all said hi back. Wow
Like the poem says, anything prior isn't really that important; the gap has been filled.
I AM A DECEDENT OF JOSEPH HARRISON AND LUNA VENABLE. (my great-grand parents)
Lost Somewhere
We had the best fights any
Two country girls could ever have
Throwing collard greens and cornbread
Wrestling in the front lawn
Yeah I lied but it was funny
To watch you get in trouble
We smiled after
Thinking about the times we sold mud pies
Climb trees in church dresses
Had to watch TV on our belly for a few days
We laughed hard
When my period came during P.E.
And I told you I was dying
How you managed to fall up stairs
And how that damn cat always sat on top of Tee’s truck
We were pissed together
When my date was an hour late
Drove with the window down
And messed up my hair
When Lillian was on another trip
When we realized nobody gave a shit but us
We went to college
Forgot our tears
Forgot our laughter
Forgot our pain
And grew apart
But now that we’re talking again
Those times really aren’t important
I recently went to a Family Reunion. For years my family could be counted on one hand (okay my niece came so now I use two).
Six. That was the number I could always count on to be there whether I was laughing, crying, or in the words of my sister never acting my age. I mean really if you stop laughing life is just...dull. I was the child in class who could never do a family tree because I had no idea who I came from.
Seventeen. The number of years I was kept from so many pieces of myself. The years of never hearing stories of my grandmother or knowing that my great grandfather had fourteen children!! Years of wondering, is there anyone out there who loves us, remembers us, remembers mama.
Eight. The number of reunions we happen to miss because of some woman who decided that itobviously wasn't important. Nothing she did or does really surprises me. She is just evil or I could branch out and use my expanded vocabulary and say uniquely special.
Two. The number of times I cried when I was there. Happy for the simply fact that I looked over a sea of beautiful black faces in the middle of a banquet and said HI EVERYBODY!! They all said hi back. Wow
Like the poem says, anything prior isn't really that important; the gap has been filled.
I AM A DECEDENT OF JOSEPH HARRISON AND LUNA VENABLE. (my great-grand parents)
Thursday, July 19, 2007
The Struggle
My son opened a fortune cookie and it said--Struggle as hard as you can for whatever you believe in.
Being the word monger that I am, I held onto it, taped inside my journal. When you think about it, those simple words are the purest truth we can ever hold on to. Why?
We struggle to raise children in a way better than ourselves but not so full of themselves that they forget the word 'thank you'.
We struggle to make changes on a job we love but employees we could probably live without. Being a teacher, I struggle to make a difference because I firmly believe that I can give my students something more.
I want to force them to drink. But Knowledge should go down smooth...ice tea on mama's back porch.
We struggle to make sense of that child who broke the mold and will drive that mother to insanity.
We struggle to understand the real reason to why some fathers won't stay and why some mother's won't leave.
Family isn't just DNA, it's Divine Negotiation of Attitude. Sometimes different strands don't mix. We struggle when our bodies are weak and the alarm clock is going off...we are being called to provide.
We struggle to make it simply longer on tomorrow because today we gave in.
We struggle to understand the war, is there meaning behind it; blood still sheds so there must be.
We struggle in relationships on those bad days, we know we shouldn't have said it but we are still in love.
Everyday we cry, we fall, we pray, we fight, we love, we win, we lose. But all would be in vain if we didn't see the meaning.
If we didn't take the time to acknowledge this is not my burden this in my blessing and I will die before I let it get away from me!!
all of this from a few words on small scrap of paper...
Being the word monger that I am, I held onto it, taped inside my journal. When you think about it, those simple words are the purest truth we can ever hold on to. Why?
We struggle to raise children in a way better than ourselves but not so full of themselves that they forget the word 'thank you'.
We struggle to make changes on a job we love but employees we could probably live without. Being a teacher, I struggle to make a difference because I firmly believe that I can give my students something more.
I want to force them to drink. But Knowledge should go down smooth...ice tea on mama's back porch.
We struggle to make sense of that child who broke the mold and will drive that mother to insanity.
We struggle to understand the real reason to why some fathers won't stay and why some mother's won't leave.
Family isn't just DNA, it's Divine Negotiation of Attitude. Sometimes different strands don't mix. We struggle when our bodies are weak and the alarm clock is going off...we are being called to provide.
We struggle to make it simply longer on tomorrow because today we gave in.
We struggle to understand the war, is there meaning behind it; blood still sheds so there must be.
We struggle in relationships on those bad days, we know we shouldn't have said it but we are still in love.
Everyday we cry, we fall, we pray, we fight, we love, we win, we lose. But all would be in vain if we didn't see the meaning.
If we didn't take the time to acknowledge this is not my burden this in my blessing and I will die before I let it get away from me!!
all of this from a few words on small scrap of paper...
Friday, March 23, 2007
While in Church
Ever paid attention to how people act in church? It really is amazing how people who curse up a storm hold it in, the sassy dies down, and the most flirtatious individual seems "normal". As soon as you hit the ground, the radio station changes, best behavior is a must, and all the drama of the world seems to be put aside. I mean if you really think about it, church is where we are what we try to be all the time. Then Monday comes, your boss gets on your nerves and while in the group of coworkers they become the B%^$3# A#$ slave driver who keeps you working overtime. Your friends are the trifling ones who you sometimes talk about behind their back, and that checking account that was not a concern on Sunday becomes the biggest burden around noon. What if we carried ourselves like everywhere we went was church? What if we helped those we didn't know without question? What if we complimented instead of complained? Donated instead of saying we didn't have (you know you just went and bought something)? Think about it, if we walked like everyday was Sunday; curse words would be fiddlefaddle all day, drama would be "Give it to God and don't worry about it", and that awful outfit would be corrected instead of laughed at. All this came to mind when I saw some of the students, who usually run a muck at school, on their best behavior in the House. I bet if we did than so much would be different. We might even be happier and a little less stressed. Just something to think about.
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